• How ’bout the price of gas? Oh my God! Oil is now over $62 a barrel. In fact, it is so high, today I saw the Sierra Club drilling in Alaska.
• A judge in Mobile, Alabama has put a 90 year old woman in jail for selling drugs. Here’s my question — where are the parents?
• Willie Nelson did an album with reggae musicians. Did you hear about this? How much smoke poured out of that studio? It must have looked like they were electing a new pope.
• Happy Birthday to Jessica Simpson who turned 25 years old on Sunday. Jessica threw a surprise party for herself — and it worked. She had no idea!
• “ESPN” magazine said that Lance Armstrong is considering running for governor of Texas. Well finally Texas would have a governor who knows how to ride a bicycle.
• The White House announced today that next month Vice President Dick Cheney will get a colonoscopy. It’s important that you get these on a regular basis. You know, the last time he had one, they found one polyp and three oil company executives up there.