“Now Bush, Clinton, and Al Gore have all admitted to smoking marijuana. This is kind of like a presidential version of the Doobie Brothers.”
“The seven-year-old Kyoto Accord went into effect this week, forcing 35 nations and the European Union to cut emissions in an effort to combat global warming. See I don’t think President Bush quite understands this. Like today when they asked him about the Kyoto Accord, President Bush says he much prefers the Camry.”
“According to ‘Variety,’ Disney is now working on a prequel to ‘Peter Pan.’ In this story Peter tries to recover a trunk full of magical stuff before it falls into the hands of the Santa Barbara District Attorney.”
“The NBA All Star Game was yesterday and L.A. fans got a chance to root for their favorite Laker. The bad news it’s still Shaq.”
— Jay Leno
“Have you seen the big Gates exhibit in Central Park? Everyone is going crazy about it. The most commonly heard phrase heard about the Gates is, ‘Thank God that was free.'”
— David Letterman