“The temperature was cold, wasn’t it? It was so cold, Karl Malone got his tongue stuck on Kobe’s wife.”
“According to ‘In Touch’ magazine Donald Trump is coming out with a line of hair products for men. Donald Trump hair products? Isn’t that a little like Keith Richards coming out with his own line of facial creams.”
And from New Year’s Eve:
“Happy New Year everybody! We’re live tonight. Unfortunately, so is bin Laden. And Scott Peterson.”
“Andre Champagne has announced they have a new screw on top that keeps their four-dollar bottle of champagne bubbling for days. Well that’s good news – you wouldn’t want to rush through a four dollar bottle of champagne. That’s something you want to keep in the refrigerator next to the half eaten Big Mac in the zip lock bag. “