Spellbound

Found at The College Writing Programs, University of California, Berkeley — ‘we commenced wrighting &c.’

In an age when spelling was haphazard at best and even the well- educated Thomas Jefferson sometimes wrote “knolege” for “knowledge,” William Clark stood out as a discoverer of orthographic possibilities hitherto unknown. For example, who but William Clark could take the five-letter word Sioux and spell it in no less than twenty-seven different ways? (“Scioux,” “Seauex,” “Seeaux,” “Soux,” and “Suouez” are just a few of his renderings, with perhaps the most bizarre being “Cucoux.”) Who but William Clark could relish the taste of “Water millions” fresh from the gardens of the Oto tribe, swat pestiferous “Muskeetors” along the Missouri, gratefully “bid adew to the Snow” after crossing the Bitterroot Range, and, wonder of wonders, come upon the tracks of “bearfooted Indians” in the wilderness of the Northwest? And who but William Clark could transform an ordinary sentence into a classic howler by writing, as he did on the day the expedition set out, “Many of the Neighbours Came from the Countrey Mail and feeMail”? (One can only wonder whether he referred to the distribution of letters among the men as “male call.”)

Because Clark had little, if any, formal schooling, he spelled many words phonetically, and in this his ear was often true. Thus, celestial navigation understandably entailed taking “Looner” observations, a tribe of Indians spoke with a different “axcent,” he was entertained by “10 Musitions playing on tambereens,” a sailing ship could be either a “Slupe” or a “Skooner,” and the Pacific was an “emence Ocian.” On the other hand, his ear frequently failed him, and this was when he demonstrated his remarkable gift for picturesque inventions. An umbrella became an “Humbrallo,” a naturalist became a “natirless,” a botanist became a “Botents, and a duct in the digestive tract of a candlefish became an “alimentary Duck” In addition, some hard-bargaining Indians “tanterlised” him, other Indians lived in houses built in “oxigon” form; beaver swimming in a river made a “flacking” noise, the Yankton Sioux wore “leagins and mockersons,” he and Captain Lewis “assended” a hill, and, among the choicest of all his malapropisms, two rifles were damaged when they “bursted near the muscle.”

When it came to spelling the names of people and places, Clark abided by Emerson’s maxim that a foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds. Although he never surpassed himself in the number of variations he discovered in the word Sioux, he did manage to take the last name of Toussaint Charbonneau, one of the expedition’s interpreters and the husband of Sacagawea, and spell it at least fifteen different ways, not once correctly. (“Chabonat,” Chabonee,” and “Shabowner” are a few of his creations, with the closest to the mark being “Charbono.”) Admittedly, the French Canadian’s name is not easy to spell, but one would expect the simple last name of Clark’s longtime friend and co-commander of the expedition to have been inviolate. Yet even here Clark spurned consistency, on one occasion referring to Captain Lewis as “Cap Lewers” and on another naming what is now called the Salmon River “Louis’s river.”

The whole essay is worth a click.

Every historian who studies Lewis & Clark falls in love with Sacagawea

But they can’t agree on her name.

The problem was that Sacajawea was Shoshone, but Sakakawea was captured at age 12 by the Hidatsas. So is her name Shoshone or Hidatsa? The problem is further compounded by the fact that Lewis and Clark couldn’t spell. Clark was the most creative — for example, he spelled Sioux no less than 27 different ways in the Journals.

Sacagawea is the official federal spelling. It is considered to be a Hidatsa word meaning “Bird Woman,” though apparently that is not how the Hidatsas spell it.

Sakakawea is the Hidatsa/North Dakota spelling. According to the North Dakota Historical Society:

Her Hidatsa name, which Charbonneau stated meant “Bird Woman,” should be spelled “Tsakakawias” according to the foremost Hidatsa language authority, Dr. Washington Matthews. When this name is anglicized for easy pronunciation, it becomes Sakakawea, “Sakaka” meaning “bird” and “wea” meaning “woman.”

Sacajawea ia the spelling adopted by Wyoming and some other western states, relying on the Shoshone. According to the web site Trail Tribes:

The Lemhi Shoshone call her Sacajawea. It is derived from the Shoshone word for her name, Saca tzah we yaa. In his Cash Book, William Clark spells Sacajawea with a “J”. Also, William Clark and Private George Shannon explained to Nicholas Biddle (Published the first Lewis and Clark Journals in 1814) about the pronunciation of her name and how the tz sounds more like a “j”. What better authority on the pronunciation of her name than Clark and Shannon who traveled with her and constantly heard the pronunciation of her name. We do not believe it is a Minnetaree (Hidatsa) word for her name. Sacajawea was a Lemhi Shoshone not a Hidatsa. Her people the Lemhi Shoshone honor her freedom and will continue using the name Sacajawea. Most Shoshone elders conclude that her name is a Shoshone word: Saca tzah we yaa which means burden.

Lewis and Clark (or at least Clark) called Sacagawea Janey. Clark raised the boy, John Baptiste Charbonneau (called Pomp by Clark) from age six and arranged for him to be educated in Europe when Pomp was 19.

The best evidence suggests that Sacagawea died in 1812.

Through the ages

The Lansbury-Harvey relationship (see preceding entry) reminded me of a couple of other strange Hollywood castings.

Paul Newman was three years younger than Jo Van Fleet, who played his mother, in Cool Hand Luke.

Anne Bancroft was 36 when she played the “older” woman to Dustin Hoffman’s 30 in The Graduate.

Queen of Diamonds

NewMexiKen watched the original Manchurian Candidate the other evening — twice. The 1962 film with Frank Sinatra, Laurence Harvey and Angela Lansbury holds up well to a careful watching (I hadn’t seen it since it was first run in 1962). It was made even more interesting by the second viewing with Producer/Director John Frankenheimer’s voice-over commentary.

Lansbury was 36 when she played 34-year-old Harvey’s mother in the film. For that alone she deserved the Academy Award nomination she got.

Remarkable

NewMexiKen is a Netflix customer though not a fanatic about it, but I have to admit that for this day and age this is world class customer service. From Pogues Posts:

Faithful Pogue’s Posts readers (if there is such a thing, for a blog only two weeks old) may remember my note from last week about the rare and exquisite bird known as Netflix customer service. I wrote about how I lost one of the Netflix DVD’s I’d rented, and discovered that the company’s lost-disc policy is sensible and casual: you report it lost, they charge you $20. If you find it, they give back the $20.

But reader Peter N. topped that one:

“I once somehow managed to stuff one of my own DVD’s into a Netflix return envelope and not realize it until it was in the mail. I was certain that I would never see that disc again.

“I sent an e-mail to customer service anyway. I got a prompt reply saying that they would locate my DVD and send it back to me — and that’s exactly what they did. With no charge at all.

“I continue to be astounded by this every time I think of it.”

Me too, actually. That’s just amazing.

Afraid of flying? You will be

The day may finally be coming when you will be allowed to make calls on your own cellphone from an airliner. Trouble is, so will the passengers sitting on either side of you, and in front and in back of you, as well.

Federal regulators plan next week to begin considering rules that would end the official ban on cellphone use on commercial flights. Technical challenges and safety questions remain. But if the ban is lifted, one of the last cocoons of relative social silence would disappear, forcing strangers to work out the rough etiquette of involuntary eavesdropping in a confined space.

From The New York Times

I’d rather see Shaq vs. Kobe

Elizabeth Bumiller’s lede in this morning’s New York Times

Tickets to all official inaugural events, including an “elegant” candlelight dinner with a special appearance by President Bush: $100,000.

Tickets to all official inaugural events, two additional tickets to an “exclusive” lunch with Mr. Bush and Vice President Cheney, plus an all-access pass to any inaugural ball: $250,000.

Telling your friends, “As I explained to the president just the other day… .”: priceless.

Chestnuts roasting on an open fire

From BBC NEWS:

Men who use laptop computers could be unwittingly damaging their fertility, experts believe.

Balancing it on the lap increases the temperature of the scrotum which is known to have a negative effect on sperm production, researchers found.

Just sitting with the thighs together, a posture needed to balance a laptop, caused scrotal temperatures to rise by 2.1C.

When the men used a laptop in this position the average temperatures increased by 2.6C on the left of the scrotum and 2.8C on the right.

Article continues with more information than I needed.

Miracle foods

First it was the loaves — a grilled cheese with Mary’s face — and then it was the fishes — a fish stick with Jesus’ face — so here from The Edge in The Oregonian are the Top 10 Lesser Known Food Miracles:

10. Fats Domino’s Pizza.

9. Meatloaf Meatloaf.

8. Bag of tiny colorful chocolate-coated candies with Mary Magdalene’s initials inscribed on each one.

7. The Edvard Munch “I Scream” Sandwich.

6. The Abe Vigoda/Erik Estrada plate of fish & chips.

5. Indiana Pacers’ knuckle sandwich and a glass of Ron Artest’s sucker punch.

4. The falafel sandwich bearing the image of Bill O’Reilly.

3. The visage of Elvis on black Velveeta.

2. The image of Dennis Franz’s buttocks in a Moon Pie.

And the number one lesser known food miracle: The 23rd Psalami on Rye.

All I Want for Christmas Is …

From Wired News: Furthermore:

Santa Claus can add this kid to his “naughty” list: An Arkansas boy who got wind of the Christmas gift his mother bought him allegedly assaulted her and threatened her with decapitation. The 13-year-old demanded that the present be returned and the cash handed over to him, then backed up his demands by picking up a butcher knife with an 8-inch blade and threatening to use it to cut off his mom’s head, police said. “He said that all would have been well if she had just bought him the correct present,” said the officer who arrested the troubled teenager. Somebody’s getting a stocking full of coal.

Also from ‘America’s Finest News Source’

Peterson Given Lifetime Channel Sentence

REDWOOD CITY, CA—Scott Peterson, convicted in November of murdering his wife Laci and their unborn child, was issued a Lifetime Channel sentence during the penalty phase of his trial Monday. “Mr. Peterson’s story shall be re-enacted in Lifetime movies and miniseries for a period of no less than 10 years,” Judge Alfred Delucci told a packed courtroom Monday. “His story shall be remanded to Lifetime’s custody until the network determines that public interest has waned sufficiently to allow airings on Oxygen.” Delucci ordered that Peterson’s team of lawyers be present for the casting.

The Onion

The failure of Microsoft to cope adequately with the security crisis

Walt Mossberg sums up the sad state of Windows-based PCs.

But for the vast part of the public whose computers aren’t bought and deployed by corporate computer departments, things have gotten much worse lately. For these consumers and small businesses, the burden of using personal computers has grown dramatically heavier in the past couple of years because of the plague of viruses, spyware and other security problems that now afflict the dominant Windows platform.

To cope with this assault from an international criminal class of virus and spyware writers, hackers and sleazy businesses, average users have had to buy and monitor an arsenal of add-on programs. They have been forced to learn far too much about the workings of their PCs. And too many users have had to take drastic steps, like wiping out their hard disks and starting all over.

So instead of being able to view their computers as tools for productivity, research, communication and entertainment, consumers have been forced to devote rising amounts of time and money just to keeping the machines safe. The PC has, in many cases, gone from being a solution to being, at least in part, a problem.

Read more.

Gorillas hold wake for group’s leader

From CNN.com:

After Babs the gorilla died at age 30, keepers at Brookfield Zoo decided to allow surviving gorillas to mourn the most influential female in their social family.

One by one Tuesday, the gorillas filed into the Tropic World building where Babs’ body lay, arms outstretched. Curator Melinda Pruett Jones called it a “gorilla wake.”

Babs’ 9-year-old daughter, Bana, was the first to approach the body, followed by Babs’ mother, Alpha, 43. Bana sat down, held Babs’ hand and stroked her mother’s stomach. Then she sat down and laid her head on Babs’ arm.

Read more.

Cheap seats

Morning Briefing:

So what Christmas gift do you give someone who has everything? How about two courtside seats to the Lakers’ Christmas Day game against the Miami Heat?

They’re available through StubHub.com. And the asking price? Only $17,648 each. But the asking price for a courtside seat has been as high as $29,413.

That’s the Shaq-Kobe meeting, but …

Talking the talk

From Sideline Chatter:

Broadcaster Dick Enberg, in his new autobiography, recalling his first television assignment in L.A. in 1963 — a USC-UCLA water-polo match: “I didn’t know one thing about the sport. I used to wonder how they got the horses in the pool.” [Oh, my!]

NBC’s Jay Leno, on the Lakers’ loss to the Chicago Bulls: “That’s like losing to Jessica Simpson in ‘Jeopardy!'”

Headline at borowitzreport.com: “Fearing attacks by athletes, fans take steroids.”

Montezuma Castle National Monument …

was designated on this date in 1906. The National Park Service says:

Nestled into a limestone recess high above the flood plain of Beaver Creek in the Verde Valley stands one of the best preserved cliff dwellings in North America. The five-story, 20-room cliff dwelling served as a “high-rise apartment building” for prehistoric Sinagua Indians over 600 years ago. Early settlers to the area assumed that the imposing structure was associated with the Aztec emperor Montezuma, but the castle was abandoned almost a century before Montezuma was born.

Montezuma Castle
NewMexiKen photo, 2003.

El Morro National Monument …

was designated on this date in 1906. The National Park Service has this to say about El Morro:

Rising 200 feet above the valley floor, this massive sandstone bluff was a welcome landmark for weary travelers. A reliable waterhole hidden at its base made El Morro (or Inscription Rock) a popular campsite. Beginning in the late 1500s Spanish, and later, Americans passed by El Morro. While they rested in its shade and drank from the pool, many carved their signatures, dates, and messages. Before the Spanish, petroglyphs were inscribed by Ancestral Puebloans living on top of the bluff over 700 years ago. Today, El Morro National Monument protects over 2,000 inscriptions and petroglyphs, as well as Ancestral Puebloan ruins.

The first step might be a little proofreading

From a story in The New York Times:

R. Craig Hogan, a former university professor who heads an online school for business writing here, received an anguished e-mail message recently from a prospective student.

“i need help,” said the message, which was devoid of punctuation. “i am writing a essay on writing i work for this company and my boss want me to help improve the workers writing skills can yall help me with some information thank you”.

Hundreds of inquiries from managers and executives seeking to improve their own or their workers’ writing pop into Dr. Hogan’s computer in-basket each month, he says, describing a number that has surged as e-mail has replaced the phone for much workplace communication. Millions of employees must write more frequently on the job than previously. And many are making a hash of it.

“E-mail is a party to which English teachers have not been invited,” Dr. Hogan said. “It has companies tearing their hair out.”

“People think that throwing multiple exclamation points into a business letter will make their point forcefully,” Ms. Andrews said. “I tell them they’re allowed two exclamation points in their whole life.”

Cheaters never prosper

From report in The New York Times:

Cal (10-1) is ranked fourth in the Associated Press news media poll and in the coaches poll, but according to USA Today, Cal was ranked seventh by four coaches and eighth by two others after its 26-16 victory at Southern Mississippi last Saturday. The previous week, none of the 61 coaches who vote ranked Cal lower than sixth.

And one coach voted Texas number 2. USA Today has the complete breakout.

Let’s see. The Rose Bowl pay out is $4.5 million (Big 12). The Holiday Bowl take is $2 million (Pac 10).

Rats!

From Wired News: Furthermore

What are giant African rats good for, anyway? In Mozambique, the critters are doing a bang-up job detecting deadly land mines, which have killed and injured an unknown number of people since the country’s civil war ended more than a decade ago. Unlike mine-detecting canines, which are prone to boredom on the job, rats seem to enjoy sniffing out land mines. Plus, they happily accept cheap rewards, like bananas and peanuts, and can perform monotonous tasks for long periods. They also work single-mindedly and can be deployed in large numbers due to their small size and light weight. “It is a stereotype, but rats have proved to work better (than men) and pose little danger,” commented a delegate to a conference on the 1997 Ottawa Convention, which banned land mines.

Which reminds me. Did you hear the National Institutes of Health have decided not to use lab rats any longer? They’re going to use lawyers instead. For three reasons. One, there are more lawyers than rats. Two, the lab technicians sometimes grew attached to the rats. And, three, there are some things rats won’t do.

(With apologies to lawyers, including especially those I love.)

It’s not bankrupt

Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid on Sunday’s Meet the Press:

Tim, all experts say that Social Security beneficiaries will receive every penny of their benefits that they’re entitled to—100 percent of them—until the year 2055. After that, if we still do nothing, they’ll draw 80 percent of their benefits. I want those beneficiaries after year 2055 to draw 100 percent of their benefits. But this does not require dismantling the program. For heaven’s sakes, they’re crying wolf a little too regularly here. There is not an emergency on Social Security.

Worth repeating: Social Security has enough money to pay everyone 100% for the next 50 years. After that, it could still pay 80%. AND THAT’S WITH NO CHANGES. Revenue increases equal to one-fourth of Bush’s taxes cuts would enable Social Security to pay everyone the promised benefits for the next century.

Meet the Press excerpt via The Daily Howler.