Steven Wright is 49 today. A few words of Wrightian wisdom:
All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.
If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.
How do you tell when you’re out of invisible ink?
Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo!
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.
A friend of mine once sent me a post card with a picture of the entire planet Earth taken from space. On the back it said, “Wish you were here.”