His idea of higher education is being able to read without moving your lips

Juanita got me laughing so hard about Tom DeLay, I actually had to stop and take a break from reading.

The more his poll numbers drop, the more he’ll be calling in favors. Thelma says that for the promise of some federal government pork, she’ll give him a reception over at Thelma’s Pool Hall and Family Mediation Center. However, Thelma really means pork, as in pork ribs, not the government money kind.