“As you know Teresa Heinz Kerry has been taking criticism for telling a reporter to ‘shove it’ the other day … Can you blame Teresa Heinz Kerry, really? I mean what’s the point of having a billion dollars if you can’t tell someone to ‘shove it’?”
“It’s now being reported that John Edwards’ younger brother, Wesley, turned himself in to the state of Colorado for a warrant relating to a 1993 DUI arrest … This proves Edwards is presidential. Have you noticed that most presidents have embarrassing brothers? Bill Clinton had Roger Clinton; Jimmy Carter had his brother, Billy Carter. You know the embarrassing brother in the Bush family? George.”
Jay Leno