“John Kerry is out there campaigning hard. Earlier tonight, Barbra Streisand and Neil Diamond sang at a fundraiser for Kerry. As a result, experts say Kerry has a very good shot at winning the 1976 election.”
Conan O’Brien
“Every political journalist is picking John Edwards as the number one pick to be John Kerry’s vice president. Can you imagine the debate between Dick Cheney and a trial lawyer like Edwards? One guy has spent his career in an ambulance, the other guys has spend his career chasing it.”
Jay Leno
“On the Senate floor, Dick Cheney flipped out and told Senator Pat Leahy to go f-himself. Can you believe that? Aren’t these the same guys trying to fine Howard Stern for bad language?”
Jay Leno