Attempting satire, Kimit Muston, writing in the L.A. Daily News, suggests it’s time for the City of Los Angeles to rid itself of its religious name.
Before the Spanish started putting up subdivisions, I believe the Yang-na tribe called this place, “Ours,” which is a great name, but I’m not sure their word “ours” means the same thing as our word “ours.” We might just call ourselves, “Here,” and then refer to everywhere else as “There,” but that could get confusing. And “Laker Town” seems to be out of the running for now.
We might rename our town “La Brea,” after the pits on Wilshire where creatures have the life sucked out of them by a black viscous fluid. Or not. I even considered changing our name to “Beverly Hills,” just to stick it to those snobs shopping on Rodeo Drive, but then, Tuesday afternoon it came to me in a flash, a new name that would fit our terrain, our vision, our history and our future.
So I humbly suggest as the new non-religious name for Los Angeles, California — Shaker Heights.
By the way, it’s worse than Muston realizes. The original full name of Los Angeles was El Pueblo de Nuestra Señora la Reina de los Angeles de Porciúncula, which means The Town of Our Lady the Queen of the Angels of the Little Portion (i.e., small parcel of land).