From the Late Show (thanks to Sideline Chatter for the pointer)
10. “Owner won’t pay for team to travel to away games” (Oscar Robertson)
9. “Coach used time-out to go get Spike Lee’s autograph” (Robert Parish)
8. “Your teammate spends whole game guarding the ref” (Rick Barry)
7. “Power forward has been out two months with the hiccups” (George Gervin)
6. “During the season, you lost to the Lakers and the Laker Girls” (Willis Reed)
5. “Your team logo is a guy asleep in a hammock” (Walt Frazier)
4. “Much of the 24 seconds is spent on uncontrollable sobbing” (Clyde “The Glide” Drexler)
3. “No one can dunk without using a stepladder” (Bill Walton)
2. “Your best player is named Shaquille Wasserstein” (Kareem Abdul-Jabbar)
1. “Many nights you have more groin pulls than points” (Bill Russell)