Jon Stewart’s Commencement Address at William & Mary. Geez, when NewMexiKen attended William & Mary graduations the speakers were (yawn) James Baker and (yawn, yawn) George Will.
Some highlights:
I know there were some parents that were concerned about my speech here tonight, and I want to assure you that you will not hear any language that is not common at, say, a dock workers union meeting, or Tourrett’s convention, or profanity seminar. Rest assured.
Today is the day you enter into the real world, and I should give you a few pointers on what it is. It’s actually not that different from the environment here. The biggest difference is you will now be paying for things, and the real world is not surrounded by three-foot brick wall. And the real world is not a restoration. If you see people in the real world making bricks out of straw and water, those people are not colonial re-enactors—they are poor. Help them. And in the real world, there is not as much candle lighting. I don’t really know what it is about this campus and candle lighting, but I wish it would stop. We only have so much wax, people.
College is something you complete. Life is something you experience. So don’t worry about your grade, or the results or success. Success is defined in myriad ways, and you will find it, and people will no longer be grading you, but it will come from your own internal sense of decency which I imagine, after going through the program here, is quite strong….
You mention Baker and Will. But other commencement speakers in recent memory include John Warner, Lamar Alexander, George H. W. Bush, Antonin Scalia, Margaret Thatcher, and Brent Scowcroft.
W&M finally held a student contest this year to select a commencement speaker, rather than just having the Board of Visitors choose someone.
Made a difference, didn’t it?