Best lines of the day, so far

Two more from Susan DuQuesnay, these from an essay essentially about Bob Novak.

As a general rule, I don’t like reporters. They go to meetings. I go to meetings. I come home and think about the meeting. They go home and write about the meeting. The next day when I read about the meeting in the newspaper, I wonder where I was yesterday when I thought I was at the meeting. This can be disconcerting.

*****

I marched myownself over to the sheriff’s department right then and there, slammed that public record on the sheriff’s desk, and hollered in that voice of mine that sounds like a teaspoon in the garbage disposal, “You are too damn dumb to be sheriff.”