The 100 Greatest Americans

NewMexiKen frees up 57 of the 100 slots from the AOL and Discovery Channel list of 100 Greatest Americans.

1. Abraham Lincoln — NewMexiKen’s greatest American
2. Albert Einstein — came to America at age 54; important work done more than 25 years earlier
3. Alexander Graham Bell — Canadian
4. Alexander Hamilton — if you’re on the currency you make the list
5. Amelia Earhart — does a woman get to be great simply for being the first to do what men did?
6. Andrew Carnegie — for philanthropy more than steel
7. Arnold Schwarzenegger — not a good actor, not a good governor
8. Audie Murphy — most highly decorated soldier of World War II (28 medals), all before age 21
9. Babe Ruth — yes, made professional athletics part of popular culture
10. Barack Obama — one speech, one big-time election; we’ll see
11. Barbara Bush — when Jeb gets elected president maybe, but until then my vote goes to Abigail Adams
12. Benjamin Franklin — top five; the first American
13. Bill Clinton — was unfairly attacked but provided the ammunition; best president to hang out with, not great
14. Bill Cosby (William Henry Cosby, Jr.) — one of several people on the list NewMexiKen has seen in person, so gets extra credit; integrated television, no small thing
15. Bill Gates — another I’ve seen in person; capitalism is what America is about
16. Billy Graham — anti-Semitic remarks to Nixon
17. Bob Hope; wasn’t funny; Bing Crosby gets my vote
18. Brett Favre; Johnny U maybe, not Brett; only one ring
19. Carl Sagan — role was to popularize science, especially space; look where he’s left us
20. Cesar Chavez — labor and ethnic leader; changed perceptions
21. Charles Lindbergh — heroism isn’t by itself greatness; Nazi sympathizer
22. Christopher Reeve — tragedy isn’t greatness
23. Chuck Yeager — a cool guy; but bottom line just a test pilot
24. Clint Eastwood — Harry Callahan makes the list maybe; Clint I think not
25. Colin Powell — failed to respect his own conscience
26. Condoleezza Rice — 9/11
27. Donald Trump — other moguls have done more with less
28. Dwight D. Eisenhower — won the war; didn’t try to undo the New Deal
29. Eleanor Roosevelt (Anna Eleanor Roosevelt) — first First Lady to lead publicly; important change for women
30. Ellen DeGeneres — not even funny; Fanny Brice gets my vote
31. Elvis Presley — of course; changed popular music
32. Frank Sinatra — NewMexiKen would rather listen to Frank than Elvis, but Frank was not a revolutionary
33. Franklin D. Roosevelt — America’s most conservative president; willing to accept change to preserve the system
34. Frederick Douglass — a great presence when one was most needed
35. George H. W. Bush — if your claim to greatness is being President, you have to be re-elected
36. George W. Bush — name one accomplishment
37. George Lucas — ruined movies forever, but great at it
38. George Patton — eccentric, daring, an ass; my vote is with Omar Bradley
39. George Washington — the indispensable American; second only to Lincoln
40. George Washington Carver — there are sufficient African-American leaders now; Carver can be retired
41. Harriet Ross Tubman — escaped slave, put her life on the line to help more escape; women’s rights leader
42. Harry Truman — among the top Presidents surely
43. Helen Keller — overcame obstacles most of us can’t even imagine
44. Henry Ford — for the $5 dollar day and the assembly line; pay people enough so they can buy your product
45. Hillary Rodham Clinton — not yet
46. Howard Hughes — too many fatal flaws
47. Hugh Hefner — for publishing photos of nude women; I don’t think so; Hefner is on the list but not Hearst, nor Pulitzer, nor Luce, go figure
48. Jackie Robinson (Jack Roosevelt Robinson) — superb athlete but makes the list for grace under fire
49. Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis — points for style and grace; but nothing more
50. Jesse Owens — rose to the occasion and dispelled the Aryan myth in front of the world
51. Jimmy Carter — a successful man in everything except the presidency
52. Jimmy Stewart — not even among the greatest actors
53. John Edwards — is there some other John Edwards? surely this isn’t the one-term senator
54. John Glenn — marine officer, game show contestant, astronaut, Senator, back in space in his seventies
55. John F. Kennedy — lots and lots of points for not ending the world during the Cuban missile crisis but name something else he accomplished
56. John Wayne — actors become the best by pretending to be other people; can an actor be a great American?
57. Johnny Carson (John William Carson) — another tough one (and another I’ve seen in person); does he get credit for keeping the national discourse on a higher plane while he was such an influence?
58. Jonas Edward Salk — NewMexiKen saw enough of polio as a child to know what Salk did
59. Joseph Smith Jr. — Brigham Young surely, but not Smith
60. Katharine Hepburn — fine actress; what else?
61. Lance Armstrong — great athlete and his public battle with cancer is significant, but I just don’t think he’s transcended athletics yet, like Ruth or Robinson or Owens
62. Laura Bush — married beneath herself
63. Lucille Ball — I Love Lucy
64. Lyndon B. Johnson — a tough one for NewMexiKen; in the end, fatally flawed; but the “We Shall Overcome” speech (in support of the Civil Rights Act) is a signal moment in American history; he stays
65. Madonna (Madonna Louise Veronica Ciccone) — why not Cher? why not Barbra? are they not strong women who managed their own entertainment careers? Is that sufficient? No.
66. Malcolm X (Malcolm Little) — Alex Haley’s Autobiography of Malcolm X tries to convince us Malcolm was changing at the time of his assassination; had he lived he may well have become a more important historical figure
67. Marilyn Monroe — talented, gorgeous, tragic, but not great
68. Mark Twain (Samuel Langhorne Clemens) — “THE” American writer
69. Martha Stewart — huh? Jon Stewart maybe, Payne Stewart even; not Martha
70. Martin Luther King Jr. — you get a holiday named after you, you make the list; greater for what he represented and how he lead than for who he was, but if you doubt him go read his letter from Birmingham Jail; that alone puts him on the list
71. Maya Angelou — there are far more significant writers
72. Mel Gibson — he was born in the U.S., but he’s a hack, however successful
73. Michael Jackson — there are scores of better entertainers who aren’t freakin’ whackos
74. Michael Jordan — Michael is “THE” American athlete as far as much of the world is concerned; his time on the list may be short, but he’s there for now
75. Michael Moore — absurd
76. Muhammad Ali (Cassius Marcellus Clay, Jr.) — another athlete that rose above athletics; as time passes he may seem less important, however, for now he stays
77. Neil Alden Armstrong — not sure Armstrong was “great” but what he did was; NewMexiKen believes Armstrong will be the most famous person from our times in 500 years
78. Nikola Tesla — too many of you are saying “who?” for Tesla to make the list; a great electrical engineer, but true greatness is moving beyond your primary field and achieving fame elsewhere as well [Update: Tesla should be included. See comments.]
79. Oprah Winfrey — Oprah’s influence is unbelievable and mostly positive; I included Carson, she rises to that level
80. Pat Tillman — bless his patriotic heart, but get real
81. Dr. Phil McGraw — LOL
82. Ray Charles — heroin-addict womanizer who helped revolutionize popular music
83. Richard Nixon — let’s not kick Nixon around
84. Robert Kennedy — inspirational leader for a couple months
85. Ronald Reagan — changed American politics
86. Rosa Parks — maybe the toughest one; symbol for so much; in the end, her own actions are too specific, too limited
87. Rudolph W. Giuliani — he rose to the occasion, but what else?
88. Rush Limbaugh — greatness implies not appealing to the lowest common denominator
89. Sam Walton — changed American retailing; JC Penney and Montgomery Ward were probably as influential, but we’re living with Walton today
90. Steve Jobs — maybe Jobs could be included with Wozniak for inventing the PC; but not for running Apple
91. Steven Spielberg — a pretty impressive and varied body of work to date, but …
92. Susan B. Anthony — NewMexiKen rule: you make the currency (or coins) you make the list
93. Theodore Roosevelt — one of the great presidents
94. Thomas Edison — inventor in so many areas and also entrepreneur: General Electric
95. Thomas Jefferson — drafted the Declaration of Independence; that’s enough right there and he was just getting started
96. Tiger Woods — still just an athlete and celebrity
97. Tom Cruise — one of the silliest on the list, though he was good in Collateral
98. Tom Hanks — arguably the best actor on the list; but not the best actor who could be on the list
99. Walt Disney — Mickey, Donald, Goofy — that’s good enough for me
100. Wright Brothers (Orville & Wilbur Wright) — up-up-and-away

NewMexiKen opened up 57 slots on the 100 Greatest Americans list. Their replacements:

First, I suggested three as I deleted the others:

44. Bing Crosby
45. Brigham Young
46. Omar Bradley

Then, I liked Functional Ambivalent’s nominees, so they’re in as a block, counting Lewis and Clark as one:

47. Lewis and Clark
48. Ernest Hemingway
49. Frank Lloyd Wright
50. Margaret Sanger
51. David Sarnoff
52. Douglas MacArthur
53. W.C. Handy
54. Ray Kroc
55. Rachel Carson

A few incredibly important political-military-judicial figures need to be added:

56. James Madison
57. John Adams
58. Ulysses Grant
59. George Marshall
60. John Marshall
61. Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr.
62. Earl Warren
63. Thurgood Marshall
64. Jane Addams

Inventors were among America’s greatest contribution to the world:

65. Eli Whitney — the cotton gin yes, but much more importantly, interchangable parts
66. Samuel Colt — automatic firearms
67. Cyrus McCormick — agricultural implements
68. Samuel F. B. Morse — communication
69. Philo Farnsworth — television
70. James Watson — DNA

And how about the robber barons:

71. John Jacob Astor — established America’s first settlement on the Pacific Coast
72. John D. Rockefeller — oil
73. J.P. Morgan — capital
74. William C. Durant — General Motors

And the writers:

75. John Muir — for his conservation ideology
76. Louisa Mae Alcott — every young woman read her novels; immeasurable influence
77. Edgar Alan Poe — Evermore
78. Toni Morrison — Nobel Prize; seems more relevant than Pearl Buck, another American woman Nobel Prize winner
79. Sinclair Lewis — Nobel Prize; The Jungle
80. William Faulkner — Nobel Prize

American music:

81. Stephen Foster — the 19th century
82. Irving Berlin — the 20th century
83. Louis Armstrong — the greatest American musician; changed music forever
84. Duke Ellington — America’s greatest composer
85. Hank Williams — did for Country what Elvis did for pop and Ray Charles did for Rhythm & Blues — revolutionized it

Originally, I stopped here, thinking I had gotten to 99. A comment pointed out that I omitted numbers 44-56 (corrected above). So I added:

86. Charles Lindbergh — see comment re: Lindbergh
87. Frank Capra
88. John Ford
89. Orson Welles
90. Jedediah Smith
91. John Wesley Powell
92. Sequoyah
93. Sitting Bull
94. Chief Joseph
95. Sam Adams
96. “Black Jack” Pershing
97. Hyman Rickover
98. Joseph Henry — foremost American scientist of the 19th century

Which still left me two names short. Alas.