Beats having a speed bump

An Oregon man who got tired of speeders racing past his house planted a faux sheriff’s cruiser in his yard to encourage motorists to ease off the gas pedal. Rick Pyburn’s plywood cop car façade seems to be doing the trick. “Once I placed that on the highway, it was amazing,” he said. “The traffic immediately slowed down.” Pyburn said lead-footed (and cold-hearted) drivers had become dangerous, running over five of his chickens. “People hit ‘em and just keep on going,” he said. The county sheriff’s office said it doesn’t mind the crime-fighting help, and the entrepreneurial Pyburn says he plans to market an upgraded model made of a waterproof composite.

Wired News Furthermore

But, of course, this begs the main question: Why were Pyburn’s chickens crossing the road?

First thing you know you’re talking real money

Some of the things your children and grandchildren will be paying for as reported by The New York Times:

Senator Tom Harkin, Democrat of Iowa, is a senior member of the Senate Appropriations Committee, so it is no surprise that the bill is studded with grants to projects in his state. Waterloo, Iowa, a city of about 70,000 people, will receive $135,000 for its arts center, $500,000 for a museum of history and science, $450,000 for a school injury prevention program, $2.5 million for highway improvements, $250,000 for a technology center and $200,000 for an industrial park.

Representative Jim Nussle, Republican of Iowa, is the fiscally conservative chairman of the House Budget Committee. But he boasted this week of all the money he had secured for his district, including $500,000 for a hospital in Dubuque and $1 million for sewer construction in Davenport.

Another Republican, Senator John Cornyn of Texas, boasted that he had secured $1 million for a flood-control project on the Rio Grande, $1 million for a clinic to treat children with heart problems in San Antonio and $300,000 to improve emergency communications in El Paso.

Not to be outdone by the Republicans, Senator Charles E. Schumer, Democrat of New York, issued more than 50 news releases in the last two days boasting that he had obtained millions of dollars earmarked for constituents.

The money includes $500,000 for the New York Botanical Garden, $100,000 for the American-Italian Cancer Foundation, $500,000 for the Roswell Park Cancer Institute in Buffalo, $3 million for research on the genetics of grapes and $199,000 for the control of Canada geese. “The geese have overrun and polluted our water and land,” Mr. Schumer said.

So has the pork.

A 300-horsepower Acura with a hall pass from Professor Isaac Newton

Dan Neil loves the new Acura RL — particularly the Bose sound system — and starts off with this tragic tale to set the stage:

I was an audiophile in college. Incorrigible, really. I shouldn’t have been allowed within 100 yards of an audio.

My stereo system comprised a 400-watt McIntosh amp and preamp, four Klipsch speakers, an anvil-heavy Thorens turntable and a Tascam reel-to-reel four-track recording deck. I remember standing outside my burning apartment in worse-for-wear BVDs and hearing — as if they were Clarice’s bleating sheep — these components shriek and sizzle and puddle together with some 500 albums and tapes.

So much for that hobby.
…

Unique to Acura is its Active Noise Cancellation (ANC) system. In principle, it works just like Bose’s noise-canceling headsets (which makes me wonder why Bose doesn’t market a system like it). ANC monitors low-frequency cabin noise (around 100 hertz or lower) and then reproduces the signal 180 degrees out of phase, which has the effect of muting the booming low-frequency sound in the cabin. Call it the sounds of silence.

ANC operates whether or not the audio system is turned on. As soon as you turn the ignition switch, the cabin fills with a cottony, comfortably numb quiet above which the richer and more pleasant sounds of the car and stereo can be heard.

He’s got me thinking test drive.

The Sweeties know what to be thankful for

Jill, official oldest daughter of NewMexiKen, reports on Mack, official oldest grandson of NewMexiKen (nearly four):

At preschool yesterday, each child colored a picture of Pilgrims. Then the teacher asked each one what he/she was thankful for. She wrote the response on the picture to send home.

I’m sure most kids said “Mommy and Daddy” or “My sister” etc.

Mack’s paper said, “I am thankful for cookies with goop.” (That’s what he calls Oreos.) I was so moved.

Update

As you can see, NewMexiKen gave in to the blogging jones today.

And probably will again soon.

Sideline Chatter

Dwight Perry has had a good week:

• Chris Dufresne of the Los Angeles Times, trying to figure out what the fuss in college football is all about: “Really, except for three times since 2000, when has the BCS failed us?”
• “When I get back,” banished Pacer Ron Artest vowed to Indianapolis’ WHHH radio, “I’m going to prevent things like that from happening.”

  Uh, right.

  And in the meantime, O.J. Simpson is going to help him look for the real Pacer who ran up into the stands.

• Just wondering: If it’s really fantasy football, shouldn’t Nicollette Sheridan be a No. 1 draft pick?
• Caught a glimpse of the NBA highlights from Detroit on Friday night, and there for a second we thought they’d ended the NHL lockout.
• Saints owner Tom Benson, no doubt realizing he had spoken out of anger and was not thinking clearly when he said his NFL team “looked like high-school kids” in Sunday’s 34-13 loss to Denver, is reportedly being pressured to issue a blanket apology.

  To all the high-school kids.

Thankful for being alive

Heather reminds us all that life is precious:

If you are depressed, please know that you are not alone. Please get help. If you know someone who is depressed, please understand that they are in pain, and please help them get help. Most importantly, listen to music a little louder, dance a little crazier, sing out loud in the shower, honk your horn for no reason, give your dog an extra treat, call your mother and tell her you love her, hug your friends even if they aren’t the touchy-feely type, eat french fries once even though your diet tells you not to, walk around your house naked, and hold tight to your motherfucking family.

Read the whole item.

The annual mass transfer of merchandise

Hubert B. Herring writes about opting out of gift giving in Sunday’s New York Times. He begins:

The season of joy is upon us, which basically means that it’s dark most of the time and that Christmas is coming. Again.

Now don’t get the wrong idea. Joy is a fine thing. Let’s hear it for joy. It’s when joy becomes mandatory that the trouble starts.

Chip Douglas is 54 today!

That’s Chip Douglas of My Three Sons, the sixties television show; Stanley Livingston in real life. Fifty-four!

Chip was the youngest brother initially, but became the middle brother between Robbie and Ernie after the original oldest brother Mike (Tim Considine) left the show. Ernie was played by Stanley’s brother Barry; Robbie by Don Grady.

Turkey Day Sports Section

From Bob Somerby at The Daily Howler:

We wanted to give this topic more space, but let’s just ask the Kevin Drums to adopt the cause of Arizona State, this year’s most abused college football team. The Sun Devils are ranked eighth in the nation by the six BCS computers—but they’re inexcusably ranked 18th and 20th in the AP and USA Today human polls. Indeed, they’re even ranked several spots behind Iowa, with whom they share a two-loss season—and who they clobbered, 44-7, on the field of play in September. Which team has played a tougher schedule? According to USA Today’s Sagarin computer, ASU has played the nation’s second-toughest sked, Iowa the 35th best. (Put it another way: ASU has played four of the current AP Top 25; Iowa has only played two.) Meanwhile, why is Wisconsin ranked ahead of ASU? The Badgers have played only one ranked team—Iowa—which beat them to a pulp last Saturday. But then, the week before, they got blasted by unranked Michigan State, too. But so what? Despite back-to-back blow-out defeats, the myopic pollsters still have the Badgers ranked ahead of Arizona State, a team which simply has to have the nation’s worst PR department.

Pac-10 fans will be thankful if Southern Cal beats Note Dame this weekend. In the meantime, a member school is being jobbed. It happens to some Pac-10 team every year. Let’s bang the drum-sticks this week where the need is the greatest.

In his praise of the Sun Devils Somerby doesn’t even mention that ASU’s two losses were to the number 1 and number 4 ranked teams (USC and Cal).

Of course, when Arizona stuns ASU Friday (that would stun me, too), this will all be mute.

Holiday glow

Captured from the Many Glacier Cam at Glacier National Park on Tuesday.