Sports becomes parody

“In a season full of challenges, Brett Favre has yet another. The 41-year-old Minnesota Vikings quarterback intends to start Sunday even though he’s been sick most the week with what he said Saturday night might be pneumonia.”

ESPN

BLACK KNIGHT: None shall pass.
ARTHUR: What?
BLACK KNIGHT: None shall pass.
ARTHUR: I have no quarrel with you, good Sir knight, but I must cross this bridge.
BLACK KNIGHT: Then you shall die.
ARTHUR: I command you as King of the Britons to stand aside!
BLACK KNIGHT: I move for no man.
ARTHUR: So be it!

[hah]

[parry thrust]

[ARTHUR chops the BLACK KNIGHT’s left arm off after a short battle]

ARTHUR: Now stand aside, worthy adversary.
BLACK KNIGHT: ‘Tis but a scratch.
ARTHUR: A scratch? Your arm’s off!
BLACK KNIGHT: No, it isn’t.
ARTHUR: Well, what’s that then?
BLACK KNIGHT: I’ve had worse.
ARTHUR: You liar!
BLACK KNIGHT: Come on you pansy!

[hah]
[parry thrust]
[ARTHUR chops the BLACK KNIGHT’s right arm off]

ARTHUR: Victory is mine! [kneeling] We thank thee Lord, that in thy merc-

[Black Knight kicks Arthur in the head while he is praying]

BLACK KNIGHT: Come on then.
ARTHUR: What?
BLACK KNIGHT: Have at you!
ARTHUR: You are indeed brave, Sir knight, but the fight is mine.
BLACK KNIGHT: Oh, had enough, eh?
ARTHUR: Look, you stupid bastard, you’ve got no arms left.
BLACK KNIGHT: Yes I have.
ARTHUR: Look!
BLACK KNIGHT: Just a flesh wound.

[Headbutts Arthur in the chest]

ARTHUR: Look, stop that.
BLACK KNIGHT: Chicken! Chicken!
ARTHUR: Look, I’ll have your leg. Right! [whop]
BLACK KNIGHT: Right, I’ll do you for that!
ARTHUR: You’ll what?
BLACK KNIGHT: Come ‘ere!
ARTHUR: What are you going to do, bleed on me?
BLACK KNIGHT: I’m invincible!
ARTHUR: You’re a loony.
BLACK KNIGHT: The Black Knight always triumphs! Have at you! Come on then.

[whop]

[ARTHUR chops the BLACK KNIGHT’s other leg off]

BLACK KNIGHT: All right; we’ll call it a draw.
ARTHUR: Come, Patsy.
BLACK KNIGHT: Oh, oh, I see, running away, ‘eh? … You yellow bastards! Come back here and take what’s coming to you…. I’ll bite your legs off!