I Actually Still Call It an Icebox

If you’d like to become rich, NewMexiKen suggests you invent the self-cleaning refrigerator. I don’t mean the self-defrosting refrigerator, although lord knows that was a breakthrough right up there with Velcro. No, I mean self-cleaning: throws out the time-dated food, cleans up the nasty spills underneath the produce drawers, refreshes the ice bin (some of those cubes may be old enough for geologists to take core samples).

As you might gather I just cleaned out my refrigerator. Just a cursory wipe out and jettison of the older stuff. It doesn’t really need a super cleaning. Hell, I’ve only lived here 7-1/2 years.

There was some strange stuff in there though, stuck in the back. A loose egg. I wonder where that came from. Better yet, I wonder when that came from. There were some spills of food that really didn’t look familiar. Must have been from the previous owners.

Why, you say, did I get the impulse to clean my refrigerator early on Saturday morning? (Go ahead, say it.) It was either that or address these damn Christmas cards.

Sad commentary: NewMexiKen’s two produce drawers contain a total of one-half lime. Of course, one-half lime is enough to wet several Margarita glass rims.


First posted six years ago. Little has changed except I no longer bother with Christmas cards. Christmas tweets will do just fine.

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