“Sales of new homes fall to a 17-year low in August, government data show, raising further concern about conditions in the housing industry.”
Hello. Further concerns!?!? Housing?!?!
That makes as much sense as “The fact that President Kennedy was shot through the head in 1963 and would be 91 years old in 2008 raised further concerns that he was dead.”
“The banking system needs another $500 billion to survive beyond the $700 billion rescue plan being contemplated by Congress, said Pimco founder Bill Gross.
“Gross said on CNBC that the government bailout plan will help free up bank balance sheets so they can start lending again, but will provide only about $50 billion in real capital to the system.”
Fuck it. Just give it all to them. The dollar won’t be worth anything anyway.
Scared yet?
“They both peaked in the late 1960’s.”
NewMexiKen has already mentioned this news story from the National Enquirer, but I wanted to be sure and point it out again as an example of the kind of thing that has no place in American political journalism or on the better blogs. You won’t find that kind of scurrilous gossip mentioned here.
“[N]otwithstanding McCain’s puffed-up and vainglorious claims to have suspended his campaign to go to Washington and destroy the giant meteor hurtling toward earth save the economy.”
“Sister Mary Dominic, I didn’t get my arithmetic done last night because I had to suspend my homework to work on the financial bailout.”
Nah, she never would have bought it.
Do you?
It may be that this bailout is necessary to stabilize the economy — but someone’s going to have to be held accountable.
We need more stocks — not the financial instruments, but those things where people are clamped in place and exhibited on the public square.
I know I would never mention it here. It’s a disgrace.
Also, they must be pretty sure they could win a libel suit.
In fact, some of the most basic details, including the $700 billion figure Treasury would use to buy up bad debt, are fuzzy.
“It’s not based on any particular data point,” a Treasury spokeswoman told Forbes.com Tuesday. “We just wanted to choose a really large number.”
Dear American:
I need to ask you to support an urgent secret business relationship with a transfer of funds of great magnitude.
I am Ministry of the Treasury of the Republic of America. My country has had crisis that has caused the need for large transfer of funds of 800 billion dollars US. If you would assist me in this transfer, it would be most profitable to you.
I am working with Mr. Phil Gram, lobbyist for UBS, who will be my replacement as Ministry of the Treasury in January. As a Senator, you may know him as the leader of the American banking deregulation movement in the 1990s. This transactin is 100% safe.
This is a matter of great urgency. We need a blank check. We need the funds as quickly as possible. We cannot directly transfer these funds in the names of our close friends because we are constantly under surveillance. My family lawyer advised me that I should look for a reliable and trustworthy person who will act as a next of kin so the funds can be transferred.
Please reply with all of your bank account, IRA and college fund account numbers and those of your children and grandchildren to wallstreetbailout@treasury.gov so that we may transfer your commission for this transaction. After I receive that information, I will respond with detailed information about safeguards that will be used to protect the funds.
Yours Faithfully Minister of Treasury Paulson
Via Cheers and Jeers.
All I can believe is that they figured out that the old terrorism threat level scheme (aka crying wolf) wouldn’t work this time around — like it did in 2004. So they’ve installed a financial threat level to scare us with instead.
And while I think of it, how come with all the shit we go through to get on an airplane, the threat level on all flights is still orange? Shouldn’t the threat level on airplanes of all places be green by now?