White people love their grammars

White people love rules. It explains why so they get upset when people cut in line, why they tip so religiously and why they become lawyers. But without a doubt, the rule system that white people love the most is grammar. It is in their blood not only to use perfect grammar but also to spend significant portions of time pointing out the errors of others.

When asking someone about their biggest annoyances in life, you might expect responses like “hunger,” “being poor,” or “getting shot.” If you ask a white person, the most common response will likely be “people who use ‘their’ when they mean ‘there.’  Maybe comma splices, I’m not sure but it’s definitely one of the two.”

Stuff White People Like

There’s more.

May 12th ought to be a national holiday

Lawrence Peter Berra is 83 today.

Perhaps one of the most popular players in major league history, Yogi Berra was also a brilliant catcher and dominant hitter during his 19-year career with the New York Yankees. Berra was named to the American League All-Star team every year from 1948 to 1962. He topped the 100-RBI mark four years in a row and became a three-time American League MVP in a career that featured 14 league pennants and 10 World Series championships. Known for his “Yogi-isms,” Berra has always been a fan favorite. Following his playing career, Yogi continued in baseball as a manager and coach for several teams.

National Baseball Hall of Fame and Museum

Burt Bacharach is 80.

Soon established as a major songwriting duo with Hal David, Bacharach and his partner became long term contributors to the career of Dionne Warwick. Over a period of 10 years, the pair enjoyed a string of 39 consecutive chart hits with Ms. Warwick, including such memorable songs as “Walk On By,” “Don’t Make Me Over,” “I’ll Never Fall In Love Again,” “Promises, Promises,” and “Message To Michael.” The song, “That’s What Friends Are For,” recorded by Warwick with Stevie Wonder, Elton John and Gladys Knight, and co-written with Carole Bayer Sager, became number one on the hot 100 and Adult Contemporary charts, received a Grammy for “Song of the Year,” and with songwriters and artists all contributing their services without charge, the recording raised over $1,500,000 for The American Foundation for AIDS Research (AmFAR).

Burt Bacharach’s motion picture scores have also achieved classic status. With Hal David a co-writer, the output includes a series of memorable themes, such as “What’s New Pussycat,” (the title song was a million-seller for Britain’s Tom Jones); “Casino Royale,” from which the song “The Look Of Love” was a gold record for both Dusty Springfield and Sergio Mendez and Brazil 66. The title song became a major hit for Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass. Others in the movie genre include “Alfie,” “Together?” with vocals by Michael McDonald, Jackie DeShannon and Libby Titus; “Arthur,” “Night Shift,” “Making Love,” “Baby Boom” and the memorable “Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid,” for which he received a pair of Oscars.

Songwriters Hall of Fame

George Carlin is 71. The following is NSFW.

Millie Perkins is 70. It’s been 49 years since she portrayed Anne Frank.

Marsellus Wallace is 49. That’s Ving Rhames.

Tony Hawk is 40.

Katharine Hepburn was born 101 years ago today. Miss Hepburn won four best actress Oscars and had eight other nominations.

She became a Hollywood star by not doing anything that Hollywood stars were supposed to do. Her looks were unconventional: she had red hair and freckles and sharp cheekbones. She didn’t wear make-up or dresses, she didn’t cooperate with the media, and she had a habit of insulting other people in the business. She played smart, sexy, independent women who were always able to get the guy in the end.

She won her first Oscar for her role in Morning Glory (1933). After that she hand-picked each of her movies, and she often had a say in who the other actors in the movie would be. Sometimes she rewrote her own lines, something almost no other actress would have dared to do at the time.

In 1991, Hepburn published her autobiography, titled Me, and it was a best-seller. She wrote about her twenty-seven-year affair with Spencer Tracy, her career, and life in her brownstone in the middle of Manhattan, where she lived for more than sixty years.

Katharine Hepburn said, “If you obey all the rules you miss all the fun.”

The Writer’s Almanac from American Public Media

Florence Nightingale was born on this date in 1820.

There are, of course, very few veterans of the war of the Crimea still alive, yet there have been in late years some who remembered the sweet and sympathetic face of Florence Nightingale, and who were never tired of telling about her noble work in the hospitals. It was not only in the details of nursing, but in the gentle and watchful care for his comfort that Miss Nightingale made herself a beautiful memory to the soldier. She lent her aid to the surgeons when strong men turned away in horror, and sustained the courage of the wounded by her appeals to the ties which bound them to home.

Nor was it in the hospitals alone that her unselfish energy and untiring devotion were felt. There was an invalids’ kitchen, where appetizing food for the sick who could not eat ordinary fare was provided under Miss Nightingale’s eye. She provided also laundries, where clean linen could be obtained. In company with the army Chaplains she established a library and a school room, where she had evening lectures to amuse the convalescents. She personally attended to the correspondence of the wounded, and in many ways fully earned the title conferred upon her by the soldiers–“The Angels of the Crimea.”

The New York Times (1910)

Best line of the day about the election

“I thought about voting for Hillary at the beginning. I don’t care that she is a woman. I need more than that. Neither [Obama’s] race, his gender, her race or her gender was enough. I needed something else, and the something else was his wisdom.”

Toni Morrison

And, on her remark that Bill Clinton was the first black president:

“People misunderstood that phrase. I was deploring the way in which President Clinton was being treated, vis-à-vis the sex scandal that was surrounding him. I said he was being treated like a black on the street, already guilty, already a perp. I have no idea what his real instincts are, in terms of race.”

More lines than a sailboat

“Well, you know what’s interesting, the experts say if you do the math, there’s no way Hillary Clinton can win the nomination, and today, Hillary responded by saying, ‘People who do math are elitist.'”

“And you can tell Barack Obama is feeling confident. Did you see what he did today? He went bowling with his former pastor, Reverend Wright.”

Jay Leno

And the most important reason May 8th should be a national holiday

It seemed like a good use of time. Labor had begun, but was progressing slowly. No sense not getting some chores taken care of while we waited at home. Most worthwhile seemed the leaky toilet.

I can’t remember what I was thinking, but at some point I moved the toilet too far and ruptured the fresh water feed at the valve. Water was spewing everywhere and there was no way to turn it off. Well into labor or not, the expectant mother went rushing around outside looking for the main shutoff, and then the tool needed to turn its valve. I stayed with the toilet trying to stem the geyser with my hand or a towel or whatever. I think actually at one point we switched roles, but ultimately I was the better stopper and the one who was heavy with child had to get the water off, which she eventually did.

A lot of water can come out of a small pipe in ten minutes (it must have been longer). A lot of water. No matter, we needed more. So it was then — not too surprisingly given all that exercise — that the mother’s water broke.

This was around noon. The afternoon was spent cleaning up the mess and waiting for the landlord to come home that evening so he could repair the plumbing. (I’d done all the harm they’d let me do for one day.) The labor stalled and soon mother, grandmother and obstetrician were playing cards, while I waited for game seven of the NBA Championship to begin. You know the one, the classic where Willis Reed hobbled onto the court, hit his first two shots, psyched out the Lakers, and the Knicks won 113-99.

Or so I’ve read, because I never saw the game. After lulling us into lethargy all afternoon, at about 6 PM the baby abruptly said “I’m ready” and within a few minutes Jill was born — at home* in a house that had no running water.

That baby is now a wonderful mother of three herself, a wife, author, one of my favorite writers, pop culture maven, and friend. Happy birthday Jilly.

—–
* Home delivery hadn’t been planned. The grandmother however, was an obstetrics nurse and the doctor was there as a courtesy to her. Given the baby’s sudden impatience, staying at home was just about imperative. Honoring family tradition, Jill’s second was born in a hospital with no potable water thanks to 2003’s Hurricane Isabel. That plumbing problem wasn’t my fault.

Even more reasons May 8th ought to be a national holiday

Eric Hilliard Nelson would have been 68 today. (He died in a plane crash on New Year’s Eve 1985.)

Ricky Nelson was a teen idol who had something more than good looks going for him – namely, talent. On television, he acted out his real-life role as the son of Ozzie and Harriet Nelson in the Fifties. As a rock-and-rolling teenager on The Adventures of Ozzie & Harriet, he practically grew up in the nation’s living rooms. In the recording studio, having landed a contract based on his TV stardom, he more than made the grade. No mere rock and roll pretender, Nelson was the real thing: a gentle-voiced singer/guitarist with an instinctive feel for the country-rooted side of rockabilly. And he had exquisite taste in musicians, utilizing guitarist James Burton (formerly a Dale Hawkins sideman, later an Elvis Presley accompanist) as his secret weapon in the studio.

Nelson’s first single – “A Teenager’s Romance” b/w “I’m Walkin’,” the latter a Fats Domino song – made the Top Ten shortly after its release in April 1957. He was sixteen years old at the time. The next year, he reached #1 with “Poor Little Fool” (which was written by Sharon Sheeley, who was Eddie Cochran’s girlfriend). His discerning taste in material – a rare talent in one so young – also led him to “Hello Mary Lou” (his signature song) and “Travelin’ Man,” both of which topped the charts. All totaled, Nelson scored an incredible 33 Top Forty hits in a seven-year period.

Rock and Roll Hall of Fame

Rock and Roll Hall of Fame inductee Robert Johnson was born on May 8th in 1911.

Though he recorded only 29 songs in his brief career – 22 of which appeared on 78 rpm singles released on the Vocalion label, including his first and most popular, “Terraplane Blues” – Johnson nonetheless altered the course of American music. In the words of biographer Stephen C. LaVere, “Robert Johnson is the most influential bluesman of all time and the person most responsible for the shape popular music has taken in the last five decades.” Such classics as “Cross Road Blues,” “Love In Vain” and “Sweet Home Chicago” are the bedrock upon which modern blues and rock and roll were built.

Or, as Eric Clapton put it in the liner notes to the Johnson boxed-set, “Robert Johnson to me is the most important blues musician who ever lived….I have never found anything more deeply soulful than Robert Johnson. His music remains the most powerful cry that I think you can find in the human voice, really.”

Don Rickles is 82 today.

Thomas Pynchon is 71.

He is well known for his reclusiveness and elusiveness. After his first novel, V., was published in 1963 and Time magazine sent a photographer to his home in Mexico City, Pynchon reportedly evaded the reporter by jumping out his window, riding a bus to the mountains, and staying there while he grew a beard — and when he returned natives called him Pancho Villa. In 1997, a CNN crew stalked Pynchon in his Manhattan neighborhood and was able to capture him on film. He became upset, called the station, and asked that he not be pointed out to viewers in any of the footage. He said, “Let me be unambiguous. I prefer not to be photographed.” When they asked him about his reclusiveness, he said, “My belief is that ‘recluse’ is a code word generated by journalists … meaning, ‘doesn’t like to talk to reporters.'”

When he received the National Book Award in 1974 for Gravity’s Rainbow, he sent comedian Irwin Corey to the ceremony to accept the prize.

He has, however, made two cameo appearances on the animated television series The Simpsons. In one of them, Marge has become an author and Pynchon provides a blurb for her book. Pynchon appears on the show and says, “Here’s your quote: Thomas Pynchon loved this book, almost as much as he loves cameras!” Then he yells at cars passing by, “Hey, over here, have your picture taken with a reclusive author! Today only, we’ll throw in a free autograph!”

The Writer’s Almanac from American Public Media

Toni Tennille is 68. (The Captain, Daryl Dragon, was 65 last August.)

Bill Cowher, the former Steelers coach, is 51, and Ronnie Lott, the football hall of famer, is 49.

Melissa Gilbert is 44. Yup, “Half Pint” from The Little House on the Prairie. She was 10 when the show began. Ms. Gilbert was President of the Screen Actors Guild 2001-2005. (Past presidents include Ronald Reagan, Charlton Heston, Ed Asner and Patty Duke). Ms. Gilbert was the youngest person ever to receive a star in the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

May 8th ought to be a national holiday

Harry Truman was born on May 8th in 1884.

The Truman Library has the Truman diary online. The diary, which was just discovered in 2003, was kept intermittently by the President during 1947. It is fascinating reading.

The entry for January 3:

Byrnes & I discussed General Marshall’s last letter and decided to ask him to come home. Byrnes is going to quit on the tenth and I shall make Marshall Sec[retary] of State. Some of the crackpots will in all probability yell their heads off-but let ’em yell! Marshall is the ablest man in the whole gallery.

Mrs. Roosevelt came in at 3 P.M. to assure me that Jimmy & Elliott had nothing against me and intended no disparagement of me in their recent non-edited remarks. Said she was for me. Said she didn’t like Byrnes and was sure he was not reporting Elliott correctly. Said Byrnes was always for Byrnes and no one else. I wonder! He’s been loyal to me[.] In the Senate he gave me my first small appropriation, which started the Special Committee to investigate the National Defense Program on its way. He’d probably have done me a favor if he’d refused to give it.

Maybe there was something on both sides in this situation. It is a pity a great man has to have progeny! Look at Churchill’s. Remember Lincoln’s and Grant’s. Even in collateral branches Washington’s wasn’t so good-and Teddy Roosevelt’s are terrible.

The entry for January 8:

The Senate took Marshall lock, stock and barrell [sic]. Confirmed him by unanimous consent and did not even refer his nomination to a committee. A grand start for him.

I am very happy over that proceedure [sic]. Marshall is, I think[,] the greatest man of the World War II. He managed to get along with Roosevelt, the Congress, Churchill, the Navy and the Joint Chief of Staff and he made a grand record in China.

When I asked him to take the extrovert Pat Hurley[‘]s place as my special envoy to China, he merely said “Yes, Mr. President I’ll go.” No argument only patriotic action. And if any man was entitled to balk and ask for a rest, he was. We’ll have a real State Dep[artmen]t now.

The entry for July 6:

Drove an open car from Charlottesville to Washington-starting at 9:15 Washington time.

Had a V[irgini]a Highway Policeman in a car ahead making the pace at exactly the speed allowed by V[irgini]a law. He forced all the trucks to one side as I always wanted to do. Made the drive in 3 hours. Had Sec[retary] of Treas[ury] Snyder, Adm[iral] Leahy, and Doctor Brig[adier] Gen[eral] Graham as passengers. All said they enjoyed the ride and felt they needed no extra accident coverage!

David McCullough’s Truman is superb.

The Santa Fe Trail

The Santa Fe National Historic Trail was established on May 8th in 1987.

Santa Fe Trail

Between 1821 and 1880, the Santa Fe Trail was primarily a commercial highway connecting Missouri and Santa Fe, New Mexico. From 1821 until 1846, it was an international commercial highway used by Mexican and American traders. In 1846, the Mexican-American War began. The Army of the West followed the Santa Fe Trail to invade New Mexico. When the Treaty of Guadalupe ended the war in 1848, the Santa Fe Trail became a national road connecting the United States to the new southwest territories. Commercial freighting along the trail continued, including considerable military freight hauling to supply the southwestern forts. The trail was also used by stagecoach lines, thousands of gold seekers heading to the California and Colorado gold fields, adventurers, fur trappers, and emigrants. In 1880 the railroad reached Santa Fe and the trail faded into history.

National Park Service

Always Coca-Cola

Coca-ColaThe very first Coca-Cola was sold at Jacob’s Pharmacy in Atlanta on this date in 1886. Dr. John S. Pemberton created the formula, which until 1905 had extracts of cocaine, as well as caffeine-rich kola nut. Bookkeeper Frank Robinson coined the name and it’s his handwriting we know from the trademark.

Let It Be

LetItBe.jpgThe Beatles released their last album, Let It Be, on this date in 1970. The tracks were originally recorded 14 months earlier, well before Abbey Road.

Let It Be was the only Beatles album to receive negative, even hostile reviews. The group was dissolving and the tension affected the music. Then in post-production, Phil Spector added his “wall-of-sound” treatment.

Of course, a poor Beatles album is better than most other bands best work.

In 2003, the album was re-released as Let It Be…Naked with Spector’s additions deleted and other changes. Here’s the whole story from Stephen Thomas Erlewine of the All Music Guide.

Political correctness

She is not a “BABE” or a “CHICK” — She is a “BREASTED AMERICAN.”

She has not “BEEN AROUND” — She is a “PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.”

He does not have a “BEER GUT” — He has developed a “LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.”

He does not act like a “TOTAL ASS” — He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.”

Thanks to Jeanne.

Pundits Declare the Race Over

Who died and left Tim Russert in charge?

Very early this morning, after many voters had already gone to sleep, the conventional wisdom of the elite political pundit class that resides on television shifted hard, and possibly irretrievably, against Senator Hillary Clinton’s continued viability as a presidential candidate.

The moment came shortly after midnight Eastern time, captured in a devastatingly declarative statement from Tim Russert of NBC News: “We now know who the Democratic nominee’s going to be, and no one’s going to dispute it,” he said on MSNBC.

The New York Times

As she so often does, digby sums it up best:

Who the fuck anointed Tim Russert as the final arbiter of anything? His job is to analyze the political landscape not declare the decision as if he were some kind of Roman Emperor giving a thumbs up or thumbs down. It’s bad enough that these gasbags put those thumbs on the scale as hard as they do, but actually taking the initiative to say when the race is over is even worse. To coin a favorite Village phrase, “it’s not their place.”

There’s a story about LBJ and former Washington Post and Newsweek editor Ben Bradlee. Bradlee was at Newsweek (this was in 1964) and he predicted LBJ was going to remove J. Edgar Hoover as director of the FBI. The White House called a press conference and Bradlee expected to see his prediction announced. Instead, LBJ gave a testimonial about Hoover and exempted him from mandatory retirement. Moments before the announcement Johnson told press secretary Bill Moyers to call Ben Bradlee and tell him, “Fuck you.”

I’m eager for Senator Clinton to drop out, but not right now.

So who lost on the Yahoo-Microsoft undeal?

Typically the business media is reporting on how much Yahoo! stock was off early this week when the deal with Microsoft fell through. They need to look a little further back.

Microsoft’s intention to buy Yahoo! was announced February 1st.

On January 31st, Yahoo! stock closed at $19.18. Today it’s at $25.30; up 31.9%.

On January 31st, Microsoft stock closed at $32.60. Today it’s at $29.86; down 8.4%.

Best line of the day, so far

“The Economics Party would be committed to changing its policy recommendation whenever the facts warranted. We’re pro flip-flop when it makes sense. In other words, our brains function properly.”

Dilbert Blog

Adams is proposing a new party: “All we’ll do is agree to vote for the candidate with the best long term economic policy, according to the consensus of leading economists.”

Living With Music

I sampled some of the songs on this playlist by Mark Bowden, the author of “Black Hawk Down,” and liked what I heard.

You may too.

That 99¢ music makes following leads like this so delightful.

Bowden also says this: “Movies have just about replaced the radio as my primary way of discovering new music.”

Movies and Living With Music each week.

No holiday in store for May 7th

U.S. Senator Pete Domenici (R-But Not for Much Longer) is 76 today.

Tim Russert is 58.

Steve Arroyo is 38.

Johannes Brahms and Piotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky were born on May 7th in 1833 and 1840 respectively.

Poet, playwright and Librarian of Congress Archibald MacLeish was born on May 7th in 1892.

A poem should be palpable and mute
As a globed fruit

Dumb
As old medallions to the thumb

Silent as the sleeve-worn stone
Of casement ledges where the moss has grown –

A poem should be wordless
As the flight of birds

A poem should be motionless in time
As the moon climbs

Leaving, as the moon releases
Twig by twig the night-entangled trees,

Leaving, as the moon behind the winter leaves,
Memory by memory the mind –

A poem should be motionless in time
As the moon climbs

A poem should be equal to:
Not true

For all the history of grief
An empty doorway and a maple leaf

For love
The leaning grasses and two lights above the sea –

A poem should not mean
But be

Gary Cooper was born on May 7th in 1901. Copper twice won the best actor Oscar and had three more nominations in the category. His wins were for Sergeant York and High Noon.

Edwin Herbert Land was born on May 7th in 1909. Land invented the Polaroid Land Camera.

And Eva Peron was born on May 7th in 1919.

Bipolar on Bipolar

Tuesday:

Many people who have been told by their doctors that they have bipolar disorder don’t really have it.

So say researchers who used a standardized, comprehensive, psychiatric diagnostic interview to evaluate 700 adult psychiatric outpatients.

WebMD

One year ago Wednesday:

There appear to be almost twice as many Americans with bipolar disorder as previously thought, and many are not getting the treatments they need, researchers from the National Institute of Mental Health report.

Once thought of as a single mental illness, bipolar disorder is increasingly recognized as a spectrum disorder, with symptoms ranging from less severe to devastating.

WebMD