Day: January 8, 2005

Judge Hardy wouldn’t approve either

From USATODAY.com —

A year after Janet Jackson’s breast brought a crackdown on indecency, Fox has rejected an ad for the Super Bowl offering a rare view of another celeb: Mickey Rooney’s backside.

In the spot for Airborne, a natural cold remedy, the 84-year-old star of such 1940s staples as National Velvet and the Andy Hardy films is in a sauna when someone behind him coughs. He overreacts, jumps up, screams and heads for the door. In his rush, his towel drops, baring his buns for about two seconds.

New type of TV — no off switch

From CNN.com —

A viewer is suing NBC for $2.5 million, contending that he threw up because of a “Fear Factor” episode in which contestants ate rats mixed in a blender.

Austin Aitken told The Associated Press he watches “Fear Factor” often and had no problem with past installments where the reality show’s participants ate worms and insects in pursuit of a $50,000 prize — but eating rats went “too far.”

“It’s barbaric, some of the things they ask these individuals to do,” Aitken said Thursday.

Aitken’s handwritten lawsuit contends …

Paper or plastic?

From the Des Moines Register —

A 65-year-old Wal-Mart greeter has been fired for greeting customers with a computer-generated photograph of himself wearing nothing but a Wal-Mart sack.

Dean Wooten was fired in September from his job as a greeter at the Muscatine Wal-Mart store where he had worked for seven years, state records show. He was accused of greeting customers with a picture of himself in which he appeared to be naked except for the carefully placed sack.

Wooten allegedly told customers that Wal-Mart was cutting back on expenses and that the sack represented the new employee uniform.

Well, they might want to rename the school

From The Indianapolis Star —

IPS police and Marion County child protection workers are investigating an incident involving two first-graders who officials said were caught trying to have sex Wednesday at an Eastside school.

District officials worried that the incident may have signaled that at least one of the 6-year-olds had been abused before. A child psychologist acknowledged that possibility but said the behavior simply could have been an attempt to copy something seen on a video or cable TV.

“One of them may be a victim,” said Indianapolis Public Schools Superintendent Duncan Pat Pritchett. “We’re waiting for the conclusion of the two investigations. At that age, that’s learned behavior.”

The names of the two children have not been made public. But the girl and boy, who were released to their parents, received five-day suspensions and could be booted from classes at School 69 for the rest of the year.

“It’s extremely troubling because of their young ages. I have never in my life experienced anything like this,” said School 69 Principal Gary W. Davis, a 22-year educator.

Charity is as charity does

A couple of well-dressed young men tapped on my door this morning to bring me a moment of scriptural reading. I really wasn’t interested.

But what I didn’t understand is why they walked past the newspaper in the driveway without bringing it up to the door. Random acts of kindness and all.

It’s also the birthday

… of Stephen Hawking. The physicist and author is 63.

… of newscasters Sander Vanocur (77) and Charles Osgood (72).

… of Shirley Bassey. The singer of “Goldfinger” is 68.

… of Bob Eubanks. “The Newlywed Game” emcee is 67.

The Battle of New Orleans …

was fought on this date in 1815.

News of the peace treaty between Britain and the United States that had been signed at Ghent on December 24, 1814, did not reach the United States in time to avert the battle. Major General Andrew Jackson’s army of six-to-seven thousand troops consisted chiefly of militiamen and volunteers from southern states who fought against 7,500 British regulars.

The British stormed the American position, fortified effectively with earthworks and cotton bales. The fighting lasted only half an hour, ending in a decisive U.S. victory and a British withdrawal. British casualties numbered more than 2,000 (289 killed); American, only 71 (31 killed). News of the victory reached Washington at the same time as that of the Treaty of Ghent and did much to raise the low morale in the capital.

The anniversary of the Battle was widely celebrated with parties and dances during the nineteenth century, especially in the South. More recently it was commemorated in the “Battle of New Orleans,” as sung by Johnny Horton and others.

Battle of New Orleans by Jimmy Driftwood

In 1814 we took a little trip,
along with Colonel Jackson down the mighty Mississip.
We took a little bacon and we took a little beans,
and we fought the bloody British in the town of New Orleans.

We fired our guns and the British kept a comin’,
There wasn’t ’bout as many as there was awhile ago.
We fired once more and they began to runnin’
On down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico.

Oh we looked down the river and we seen the British come.
There must have been a hundred of ’em beatin’ on a drum.
They stepped so high and they made their bugles ring.
We stood behind our cotton bales and didn’t say a thing.

Old Hickory said we could take ’em by surprise,
if we didn’t fire our muskets till we looked ’em in the eyes.
We held our fire till we seen their faces well,
then we opened up our squirrel guns and gave ’em a little…Well….we…

…fired our guns and the British kept a comin’,
There wasn’t ’bout as many as there was awhile ago.
We fired once more and they began to runnin’
On down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico.

We fired our cannons till the barrels melted down,
then we grabbed an alligator and we fired another round.
We filled his head with cannonballs and powdered his behind,
and when we touched the powder off, the gator lost his mind.

We fired our guns and the British kept a comin’,
There wasn’t ’bout as many as there was awhile ago.
We fired once more and they began to runnin’
On down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico.

Soupy Sales …

was born on this date in 1926.

Soupy prospered as a Detroit and then ABC television comedian in the 50s and 60s. NewMexiKen remembers Soupy for the noontime Lunch with Soupy Sales on WXYZ-TV, along with White Fang and Black Tooth, Pookie the Worm, and the Soupy Shuffle. Great stuff.