Dumb and dumber

Tucson Weekly has an article on some of the dumber criminals to pass through the system. The best example:

Danny was a local career criminal who had pulled–and botched–enough jobs to be prosecuted separately by Rick Unklesbay and two of his colleagues in the Pima County Attorney’s Office.

For the current charge against Danny, prosecutors wanted to show prior convictions. A prior conviction cannot be demonstrated simply by recitation in court or the showing a piece of paper; it has to be part of the evidence of a case. One way to accomplish that is to have the prosecutor who handled the previous case testify in court that he or she had, in fact, previously prosecuted the defendant. Identification is necessary.

In this case, Unklesbay was called on to identify the defendant, and sufficient time had passed for Unklesbay to wonder if he would still remember Danny.

As he and his colleague, Tom Rankin, walked the block from their offices to the Superior Court Building, Unklesbay had some doubt if he would be able to identify the thief.

There are four elevators in the courthouse; the doors opened on one, and the two lawyers walked in.

“Hi, Mr. Unklesbay,” said Danny. “Remember me?”

And Danny went back to prison.