Via Sideline Chatter in The Seattle Times:

• NBC’s Jay Leno, on commissioner Bud Selig announcing his latest hardline stance against muscle-building drugs in baseball: “This coming season, sales of steroids will be cut off after the eighth inning.”

• Angels reliever Brendan Donnelly, to the Los Angeles Times, after his first warmup pitch during a spring-training game whizzed past an umpire standing about eight feet to the side of home plate: “It looked like Nuke LaLoosh was making a comeback.”

• CBS’s Craig Kilborn, with a little-known nugget from Oscars night: “Did you know that all the jewelry worn by the actresses was on loan from Kobe Bryant’s wife?”