Truth in advertising

NewMexiKen understands loneliness well-enough, but—even so—can’t help wondering about the possible incongruity between the self-described attractiveness of the individuals in these personal ads and the need to seek partners by advertising. Some examples from the current The New York Review of Books:

A RARE TREASURE. Naturally pretty girl-next-door with sleek, playful, athletic twist. Long blonde hair, high cheekbones, heart-melting smile—think Emily Procter (from West Wing, CSI Miami). Fine-boned, slim, confident. Patient and passionate. Unafraid to laugh, believes in hopes and dreams. Gentle, honorable, light of heart. Known for strong aesthetic sense. Never tires of art, music, hiking, running, tennis, snowshoeing. Vermont resident, drives to Boston at drop of a hat. Good traveler, not lugging past baggage. Loves Southern France, northern Italy, dogs, reading, daisies. Seeks kind, divorced/widowed man, 49-65.

TOTAL STUNNER. Could be stand-in for Michelle Pfeiffer. Slender, lean body, knockout smile. Sweet-natured, approachable, successful entrepreneur, author, physician. Divorced, 45. Half French with European flair plus NY humor and vibrancy. High profile, funny, genuine. Adores savoring an active life: tennis, cultural and charity events, red carpet openings, evenings at Le Cirque, La Goulue. Recharges by playing piano, gardening, travel: Hawaii, St. Bart’s, or biking Provence inn to inn. Enjoys art, photography, science, history. Seeks lasting relationship with bright, upscale, successful, well-mannered, 5’9″+, 46-59 man of quality, depth, character, ready to appreciate a classy, loyal, independent, beautiful woman.

SMASHING LOOKS AND A SMILE that lights up a room. Sensual romantic eyes, beautiful dimples, high cheekbones, and appealing figure. Jewish widow, 5’8″. Successful entrepreneur; stunning, elegant, Wellesley/MIT Sloan grad. Articulate conversationalist with expansive mind, enjoyable to be with, delights in laughter and having adventures. Contributes to the community, travels, paints; passionate about music, the arts, photography, Paris, Nantucket. Seeks dynamic, healthy man, 59-72.

ALLURINGLY ATTRACTIVE, slender, savvy photographer—completing book. Also accomplished professional—infectious laugh, wry humor, and dose of irreverence. Unafraid to explore new things, new ideas. Open, honest, gently sexy, divorced. Great dimples, long legs, generosity of spirit, inquisitive mind. Very visual, keenly perceptive. Fun with great sense of adventure. Equally comfortable at Ritz or favorite neighborhood Italian dive, opera or Red Sox games, Arizona Biltmore or Italian pensione, New York or Boston. Passions for museums, reading, cooking, art, philanthropy, dogs, movies. Biking, tennis. Seeks smart, interesting/interested, attractive, financially comfortable, 5’8″+, 47-60, man of character. Intelligence, humor count for a lot.

There’s many more. The relatively few “man seeking woman” ads are not nearly so extravagant.