Iowa’s decision huge, until maybe tomorrow

Dave Barry reports from Iowa

This actually happened here, according to a Des Moines Register story that I swear I am not making up. A woman named DeAnna Rankins was working in a tax-preparation office, when a guy with a knife came in and demanded money. So Rankins grabbed a stapler — that’s correct: a stapler — and threatened him with it. And he ran away!

Rankins is quoted as saying: “I would have stapled him.”…

I’ll resume these reports Saturday from New Hampshire, the next crucial step in this strange — yet, at the same time, bizarre — process that we use to decide who should lead our nation.

Right now, I’m leaning toward DeAnna Rankins.