Fair and balanced

Los Angeles Times columnist T.J. Simers on journalistic fair play:

Although I’ve been a diehard Trojan fan as long as I can remember, I’d like to reassure the losers who still support the Bruins that I intend to be as objective as always in writing about their crummy team, and their dull coach.

Simers goes after Michigan too.

It’s generally accepted that most of us who love the Trojans are rich and a cut above ordinary citizens. So when I return from San Jose, it’s going to make for an interesting couple of Rose Bowl days mingling with all the factory workers from Michigan who have come to the big state hoping to catch a glimpse of Arnold.

I’ve had the grueling experience of being bored by the Midwestern likes of Bubba I, Bubba II and Bubba III, the brothers-in-law, so the shock of listening to yokels cluck about the new Piggly Wiggly in town isn’t going to hit me quite as hard.

I’ve also been to Detroit before, and if you moved all the people from Philadelphia to Detroit, you’d have a pretty good idea of what hell must be like, so I look at this week as a good reminder to once again be on my best behavior.